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"I, uh, well," Paul stammered, looking up to see a big SUV next to them, an older gentleman in the driver's seat staring down at her in shock, a teenage boy in the back who's eyes were practically popping out of their sockets. "OK, ok, just get dressed, sheesh."
There are things women don't like to admit to each other, those dark little details and shameful episodes that we hide from the world like unsightly patches of body hair. Whether it's a slutty teenage past or a temper tantrum that landed us firmly in the realm of "psycho chick," we often have trouble being honest with each other about our histories, so that a shroud of shame and anguish blankets our earliest experiences of sexual power. See how queasy it made you feel, just to read the words "sexual power"? Well, help is on the way, in the form of a hilarious memoir by "Six Feet Under" writer Jill Soloway.
Sadly, in these screwy times, it's rare to find a contemporary female writer who dares to suggest that feminism is a perfectly reasonable response to the current cultural "Girls Gone Wild" madness -- and rarer still to find one who actually has a sense of humor about the whole thing. In discussing her "tortured soul sister" Monica Lewinsky or why the bars of L.A. are filled with skinny blond teenagers with flat-ironed hair, Soloway demonstrates that it is possible to speak out against the madness, even while discussing the joys of cop bars. Or, as Soloway puts it, "I wanted to prove that women could rule the world, yet I refused to stop watching Miss America."
The girls were confused by this question, so he elaborated, "My lotion bag. It's missing. My leather pouch? It's black and I keep my lotions in it." They replied that they hadn't seen his lotion bag. Right after he left, though, Soloway's sister mumbled, in a very tiny voice: "Lotion bag." The group broke down laughing.
From then on, the older guy was known among her friends as "Lotion Bag." Soloway writes, "And somehow, I knew that even if he was thirty-six and I was seventeen, even if I had sex with him when I wasn't sure that I even wanted to, even if he had told me I had hair growing underneath my arms and that I was rapidly falling away from perfect, now that he was Lotion Bag, I had won." 041b061a72